i’m no longer a pro cyclist
It’s January 1st and I don’t have a contract signed. Time for an identity crisis.
When the clock struck midnight on New Year's Eve, it was not only the start of 2023, but the start of a new chapter in my life. I’m no longer a pro cyclist. I mean, was I ever a pro cyclist in the first place? Racing at Continental level is very much a blurred line when it comes to the “Are you a pro?” question, but that’s an article for another day.
Let me be clear, I’m not leaving the racing scene. It’s just at this current moment in time, I’m no longer a pro. I’ve received my final pay cheque from Axel Merckx Cycling Ltd. [the operating name of Hagens Berman Axeon] and I’m no longer a contracted rider. So what the hell am I?
*Insert identity crisis*
I’m writing this sitting on my balcony over looking Plaça Independencia and I’m still pretty hungover after celebrating the New Year in Barcelona. Waking up this morning my social media feeds were full of people in their new team kits. I’ve been that guy. It’s just strange looking at it from the other side. However, as I look over my right shoulder and down on to the square, I’m at peace.
It’s strange. This is the first year since 2017 that I don’t have a training camp coming up. It’s the first time since 2018 that I don’t have a shiny new team issue bike on its way to me, nor do I have the guarantee of a suitcase full of brand new kit. There are things in the works and conversations happening to find partners to support the project that I’m starting to build for 2023, but not having the “security” of a road contract is certainly different.
For the last however many years, so much of my personality has been associated with the bike. Whether it be an excuse to move to another country, or as to why I can’t go to a party, everything has been because of the bike. For the first time in my adult life, it’s no longer a valid excuse. Granted, I still want to be the best athlete I can, but it’s completely on me now. As my friend, and host of the Roadman Podcast, Antho Walsh put it: it’s no longer training that you’re doing, it’s cardio.
What are the emotions? I don’t really know. To say I’m done with chasing the pro contract is partially true. While that sounds like I’m throwing in the towel, it’s certainly not. For the last few years I’ve been chasing that elusive ticket to the big leagues and I think doing exactly that has made me lose sight of the real goal.
The goal of bike racing is to win, not to get a contract. I think myself, and so many other under-23s become so engrossed on the contract that they aren’t necessarily focussing on winning. It’s a very subtle, but also a very significant difference. Going forward, my goal for any bike race is simple: win. If a pro deal comes from that, then that’s great. If a pro deal doesn’t come then I’m okay with that.
There’s a weird pit in my stomach writing this. I don’t know exactly what it is. There are, without doubt, some scary parts about my next chapter. For example, not only do I not have a team that covers equipment and transport costs, I’m also losing a significant chunk of my annual salary.
For the past two years that I’ve been on Hagens Berman Axeon, my team salary has made up around 40-50% of my total income and the other half has come from the freelance work that I do. From 2023 onwards, 100% of my salary is going to be coming from freelance writing and that alone is very scary.
As I’ve briefly mentioned already, I’m also in the process of launching my 2023 project. This is still very much in its infancy but I’ll explain a little here. I’ve nicknamed it “Project TAG” which represents “Tarmac and Gravel” as well as “tagging” out of the conventional road race scene for a year. It will involve road, time trial and gravel racing. I’m currently putting together a proposal with my agent and trying to get personal partners to support me for both equipment and expenses. I’m doing it slightly differently, and offering my writing skills to any brands I partner with too, but more on that another day.
The cycling world is beautiful in a very twisted way. Just when you think you’re down and out, you’ll be blindsided by a random opportunity. You can never predict where that opportunity will come from, or what it will be. You’re never quite sure how it fell to you, but there is always something.
I may no longer be a pro cyclist by name, but not having my name scribbled at the bottom of some paper won’t change my identity. I’m a bike racer. I’m a writer. It’s the same as it always has been.
While you’re here…
I’ve added both paid subscription and a ‘Buy Me A Coffee’ link to this post. As the year progresses, I’m planning on building this blog and putting out articles which I’ve always wanted to write but for whatever reason, haven’t wanted to pitch.
Any money that I make from either my Substack, or BMC link will go straight back into supporting my 2023 racing calendar. I am planning on keeping all the content on here free though to view though!
Happily subscribed, good luck Joe hope 2023 brings you success and more importantly satisfaction
Subscribed. Always enjoyed your writing and insights. Best of luck for 2023.